Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
