i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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