Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
