Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
