it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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