I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We got so high we made milksteak
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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