The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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