I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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