I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.