I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.