yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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