We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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