ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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