I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
