I wish I could punch you in the face.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
