If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
