i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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