..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
