New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
