I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Will exercising make me less horny?
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