I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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