watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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