if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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