Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
