I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
