i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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