Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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