I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
