literally had 100 drinks last night.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
