Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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