Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
