True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
