oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
This can only be settled by a dance off.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
