is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
