At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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