you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
