He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
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Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
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You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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