i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
