When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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