im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The adults are the big ones right?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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