How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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