i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
