did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
