Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
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I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
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Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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