my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
