He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize