Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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