ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
