im drinking this country out of the recession.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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