Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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