theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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