my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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