Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
