dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Apparently you make a good broom.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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