I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
