I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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