How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
