He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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