My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
