i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
