And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
