I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
